When I close my eyes today and think back to my college days, I feel an ache, a longing for the times gone by. The campus. The classes & professors. The study sessions. The plaza. That one black bench on the plaza which was my favorite spot. Law Library. Yummy cappuccinos at the local mom & pop stores. Student Government meetings. Indian Association meetings. Dance practices. Holi Shows, Diwali Shows. Garbas. Aloo Tikkis and Mota Ravi's (names of sandwiches) from the 'Taj Mahal' truck. Dunkin' Donuts trips. Hoboken. The 5-hour conference calls that started at midnight :-) ... I can go on forever, I think.
The day used to start and never end without a navrapanti session (read: passing time) with 6 of my friends. We called ourselves 'The Gang'. The campus was our home and we walked on the streeets as if we owned them. We fought, we argued - but at the end of the day - we made up.
It's been two years - but I still remember the littlest of things and the smallest of incidences. A always used to have his laptop with him - and I always snatched it away wanting to either listen to music (while writing research papers) or to check email, or to read news, etc. D undoubtedly needed help with his English term papers. I miss sitting with a red pen in one hand, a cup of coffee in another and going through his paper line by line to sift for spelling errors (he made plenty of those :-) ). C always charmed my day with a teddy bear smile, B with her silliness (which drove me to my wit's end sometimes) and I remember that M kept us alive and kicking through study sessions by bringing food. And - no matter what happened, V and I always made trips to the campus store to buy 'mini cupcakes', coffees and Aloo Tikkis.
Here I am, two years later, typing out this embarrasingly emotional post and reminiscing these times gone by. What would I give up right now to be with 6 of my friends on The Plaza? I don't know. What I do know is that change happens - and it happens for the good - but why am I not in terms with this change in my life? After all, it's only been two years. Why this ache, this pang for the times gone by? Why this feeling that I've lost something very important to me?
Come to think of it, maybe I've gained something out of this loss. Maybe I've gained a collection of memories that can never be tarnished, that can never be touched. Those four years of my life were just perfect.
Heart-breakingly, achingly, perfect.
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